The Adventures of Sharky and Riki
by BNVshark
Summary: What happens when two shameless self-inserts find themselves in the world of Hunter x Hunter? Oh God, they're going to ruin the entire plot.
1. Chapter 1

"Oh poo!" A brown haired girl let out a sigh as she slouched in her seat. She had just caught up to the newest episode of Hunter x Hunter. Now she had to wait seven whole days for the next one to come out. She was about ready to cry. Her life was so terrible. Why did she have to be born in the boring real world? Oh, how she wished she could be friends with Gon and Killua and e_specially _Kurapika. He rocked her socks. Hisoka too. Oh, there was just something indescribable about that clown.

Of course, she'd probably kill Leorio.

Sadly, she opened the front door to her house and stared at the night sky. The chilly air brushed past her cheeks as she admired the countless stars above. Somewhere out there, Gon and Killua were probably traveling and kicking ass left and right. How she wished she could do that with them. She'd be a huge help, she just knew it.

She closed her eyes and, with all her heart, started chanting the same sentence.

"I wish I was there. I wish I was there. I wish I was there!"

Suddenly, the winter cold disappeared and was replaced by a warm breeze. Without opening her eyes, she took a whiff of the air around her. It was different somehow. Almost salty.

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree the moment her eyes opened. She was in the town square of Whale Island. Who cared how she got there, or how her family would react to her sudden disappearance. She was in the Hunter x Hunter world now, and now _nothing_ could go wrong.

Her heart was beating faster than it ever had. She was fangirlling. She looked around, trying to see if she could see Gon or any of her other favorite characters around. In the corner of her eye, she saw a sail boat. If she was lucky, it was the same one that took Gon to the Hunter Exam. The same one that had _freaking_ Kurapika!

She charged up the platform onto the boat as fast as she could. Her heart practically skipped a beat as she saw that familiar blur of blonde walk through one of the ship's corridors and… _bam._

She looked to see the person she had run into.

No way. It was Bran…

"Hey, you're here too!" The tall, tanned 18-year-old said with a grin and he hugged the girl tighter than her ribs could handle. "Listen," he said as he let her go out of the tight grip, "We should change our names here." It seemed he wasn't questioning how _he_ got into a fictional world either. Eh, it seemed legit.

"Why?" The girl cocked her head to the side.

"Because what the hell kind of names are Brandon and Kelli? We need badass names here, like… Sharky!"

"And Penelope," the girl chimed in.

"No," Sharky said. "You need a cool name, like… Riki."

God… that name was so foreign and awkward that it fit perfectly. Instantly, she began thinking of every possible ship name her and Kurapika would have.

Kurariki?

Kurapiki?

Rikipika?

Yes! From now on, her official ship name with that wondrous, flawless blonde would be Rikipika!

She stormed off, leaving Sharky behind. She was sure Kurapika would fall in love with her the instant she declared her love!

* * *

**Author's Note:**_Alright, did you guys enjoy that? No? You think that chapter was the biggest piece of crap you ever saw? Yeah, I think so too. I've never been good at starting any story, parody or not. Anyway, I need your help. A parody-fic staring shameless self-inserts needs more than two minds. Please submit your own characters (via PM_ **ONLY**)_. Remember, this is a parody, so feel free to make their backstories as comically gag-worthy as possible. And remember to make their nen abilities as ridiculous as possible! I have a guideline below. Follow it, yeah?_

**Name:**

**Personality:**

**Nen Type:**

**Nen Abilities:**

**Background:**

**Who they'll fangirl/boy over:**

**Any other interesting quirks:**


	2. A Declaration of True, Eternal Love

**Chapter 2: A Declaration of True, Eternal Love**

Riki weaved her way through the crowded hall of the boat as quickly as she could. A few of the burlier people growled at her as she violently shoved them aside. She didn't pay mind to their reactions though. She was positive her eventual Nen ability would kick absolute ass. None of those twerps would ever even learn of Nen. Besides, those people were side characters, most of them didn't even have any lines, what could they possibly do to-.

"Hey," a tall man shouted as he pulled Riki up by the collar of her shirt. "Aren't you a little too young to try out for the Hunter Exam?"

"Aren't you a little too old to smell like crap? Buuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrnnnnnn," Riki shouted as the man tossed her into a stack of barrels.

She'd deal with the mild concussion she had gotten later.

Finding the love of her life was harder than she thought. The anime never specified how freaking huge the damned ship was. Before long, she and the rest of the travelers were being jerked from one wall to the next. Water gushed from leaks on the walls and windows. She knew exactly what was happening.

Her eyes sparkled. Kurapika was going meet with that captain soon. Great, she didn't need to waste time _looking_ for her eternal sunshine, all she had to do was stalk the area she knew her prey was going to go to.

She was getting _cravings_.

She quickly made her way to the cockpit of the ship. The captain politely asked her to leave, but she declined. She wanted to stay there to stare at the buttons. The blonde, sexy, chain-wielding buttons.

The captain was confused, but piloted the ship through the storm anyway. Within an hour, the storm stopped, and a group of footsteps could be heard coming her way.

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. Kurapika. Freaking Kurapika was standing right there, with a confused look on his face. Oh, and Gon, and Sharky were there too.

"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah," a voice that only could have been Leorio said. Riki didn't care about him.

"Blah blah blah blah my dad, blah blah blah Hunter like him!" Oh, that was right, Gon existed too. His hair was freaking weird, Riki thought.

"Shark shark shark shark shark shark."

Riki didn't mentally block out everything Sharky was saying, like she did for Gon and Leorio. He really did only say "shark" in his sentence. Everyone looked at the older boy, just as confused.

"Ooooooookay," Kurapika said.

Riki might've well have wet herself. Those were the first words she ever heard Kurapika say in person. She was _so_ going to get a tattoo of that on the inside of her lower lip. She made sure to note that he had exactly 8 'o's in that word.

The captain looked at her as she daydreamed, eyes half shut as drool poured out of her mouth.

"And you," he asked with almost a little bit of impatience in his words.

"Oh, I'm Riki. Um… this is my favorite show, but I also like Fullmetal Alchemist because of Ed. Oh, and I like Vash too! And, uh… I think Super Saiyan 3 Goku is totally hot. As you can see, I like blondes." She eyed Kurapika as she inched herself closer. "I reeeeeeeaaaalllllly like Kurapika…" The blonde gulped as he broke out in a cold sweat. Riki could see he was getting nervous. Dammit! She needed to fix her mistake as soon as possible. "Uh… I mean blondes. I like _blondes_. But not Kurapika…" She laughed, playfully slapping the boy's face. "I mean, who would like his flawless skin and great character development and hot ability?"

There was a pregnant pause. Everyone stared at her, in awe. Sharky couldn't help but let out a "Smooooth," during the silence.

"You… must've heard the wrong question," The captain said, emptily. "I asked why you wanted to become a Hunter."

"Oh, I was getting to that!" Riki knew exactly what to say now. "I'm going to kill the Phantom Troupe!"

Nothing could've hid the shine of scarlet that briefly flashed in Kurapika's eyes. Leorio pointed a finger at her, angrily.

"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!"

Riki wasn't particularly sure what he was saying. But it must not have been important. The only thing that mattered to her right now was Kurapika. He stood in front of her, shielding her from Leorio's onslaught of "blahs." He was so sweet.

Kurapika's soothing melodies of kindness, compassion, and sexiness completely differed from Leorio's stupid, dumb, awful, smelly words. There was another pause, and both Riki's future husband and that awful, drunk, perverted, hateful bigot stared at each other with an anger that she had never seen before.

They both walked outside. She didn't understand Leorio's string of 'blahs' but she followed them anyway. They were going to fight, and Riki was determined to give Kurapika the biggest hug of his life right after he brutally mauled Leorio's face off. She happily jumped in place as the battle commenced. Wasn't something important supposed to happen now? Riki didn't think so.

Just before the two males could trade the first blow, the ship jerked to the right. Some unimportant person was thrown off the boat, and she saw Gon jump after to catch him. Leorio and Kurapika followed.

Riki wanted to help too. Just as Kurapika grabbed onto Gon's overboard body, Riki latched onto Kurapika, violently pulling him back. The gorgeous blonde lost his grip on Gon, leaving it up to Leorio to pull the spiky-haired boy back. Unfortunately, the kid lost his grip on the unimportant character, leaving him out in the stormy sea. Sharky just waved goodbye.

Kurapika and Leorio couldn't help but laugh at each other.

"Blah blah blah blah, Kurapika, blah blah blah!"

"Yes, I'm surprised you helped out as well, Mr. Paladiknight."

"Blah blah blah blah blah, Leorio, blah blah blah."

It seemed they had forgotten the unimportant side character. Gon hit his head on the ship's mast as he was pulled up. He probably wouldn't remember the dude either. Sharky was busy stepping in the puddles on the ship and laughing uncontrollably as the water splashed everywhere. Riki grinned from ear to ear. Everything was going to be alright after all.

She stared at Kurapika, eyes half open. She was happy. She was happy because… she could have Kurapika all to herself… Or not.

Another girl suddenly walked in. She practically cracked Kurapika's spine with the force she was hugging him with. "Hi," the girl said.

Maybe her voice sounded natural, but to Riki, it sounded ugly, and evil, and awful, and terrible and sick.

"My name," she held out her hand to Kurapika _and_ Leorio, "is Midora."

She flashed an angry glare at Riki.

A love rival.

* * *

**Author's Note:**_Noooooooo, Riki won't instantly get Kurapika to fall in love with her now! No, Midora, no! Riki was there first!_

_Anyway, I'd like to thank KizaneofSevenSwords for submitting Midora. You won't be disappointed. The show's only just getting started._


End file.
